whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
