I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
