Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
