I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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