She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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