farters have to be the big spoon...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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