Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
