So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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