So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
