I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
