Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
