I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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