hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
