he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
