We named our party play list daddy issues
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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