i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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