We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
