I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
