I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
