I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
