True but thats because hes a fetus.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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