I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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