I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
