im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
