Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
