I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
