We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
