Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
