You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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