you have to choose: penises or morals?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
