I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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