Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We left an ass print on the piano.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
