I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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