you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
