Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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