I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
