so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize