If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
