That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
