I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize