oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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