i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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