Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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