Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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