Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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