Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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