I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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