if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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