I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
