Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
