What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
