Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
