I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize