So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
