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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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• (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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• (347): View more from New York

  Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Whats a little breast milk between friends?

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