And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
