Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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