I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
