I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
