is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
