Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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